Off Road Snatch-a-hoe Van

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Pants

Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers sent me the photo above today, and it got me to thinking. I don’t think women really understand the definition of what pants are.

So let’s review.

Pants–according to Merriam-Webster–are  “an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle —usually used in plural”. From the waist to the ankle people. Thus, your ass crack playing free bird does not count as wearing pants. Furthermore, pants are to be COVERING each leg from the waist to the ankle. Thus, if I can see your underwear, or your skin in any fashion, through your “pants”, you fail. You not wearing pants, and you need to spare yourself some embarrassment and others their eye sight, and change.

For those of you would need a visual diagram to assist in the learning process…

This are pants:

These are not:

Pants of an acceptable nature:

Pants of a not so acceptable nature:

Pants:

Not pants:

As you can see the art of finding acceptable pants is seemingly difficult, so when in doubt, check for 3 things:
1. Are they see through?
2.  Are they so tight that it’s causing unsightly things to appear?
3. Is your ass crack showing (to include when sitting or bending over)?
If you answered no to all three questions (honestly), you should be set to appear in public with pants on.

Party Dress

Next weekend I am attending a birthday party in fabulous NYC with PR. It is set on a boat that goes out on the Hudson. Suppose to be wonderful, over the top, glitz and glamor. Problem is I need a dress, and I don’t want to spend an arm and a leg for it. I went shopping some yesterday and it was an epic fail. I only found one dress I liked and it was too small. I mean way too small. After a moment of frustration, iamsohip and I decided that dress shopping is all well and fine until you actually need a dress. Then it turns into never being able to find one that you like or are will to pay the price tag for. Overrated.

Now since I live in a 3 stop light town my choices on shops is quickly reduced to pretty much nothing. Having already been in the only “fancy dress” store in town, I have decided to press my luck and wait until I go see Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers this weekend. Her town has significantly more to offer and hopefully I will find something. I must.

In the mean time, I can drool over these dresses.

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes


(If you click on the picture above it will give you the full size image.)

Shoes. I love them. I have over 60 pairs of shoes, and yes before you even ask, I do wear all of them. I am a firm believer in if you have shoes they should be comfortable to walk in and you had best wear them at least once a year. So with that said, I have a wish list of shoes. Now I may get a few of these, I may not, but regardless I’m going to drool over them in the mean time. (Also, if you click on any of the pictures below it will direct you to the website, if you care to purchase them.)