Saturday in NYC. Perfect weather. PR, Italiano, AnnoyingPint and I are all dressed for perfection and ready to go on our booze cruise for the evening. We start off with delightful photos, then make our way to the pier. We get on the boat and set sail for the trip out to Lady Liberty and back. Open bar, beautiful Europeans, and food. Perfect.
Perfect until we are all dancing and I had a guy ask to dance with me. Ok. That’s fine. Problem was he was for TEXAS! What the hell?! I’m all the way in NYC and the one guy from Texas finds me on the boat. I had to refrain from insulting him. Furthermore, he wanted to bump and grind with me. Now I’m not European, but I dance like one. I like my space. I don’t care to give you an erection on the dance floor.
I escaped eventually to be with my friends and then another creeper found me. He was from South Africa. Cute (as best I can remember). Problem was he had really lame pick up lines and he wanted to get me alone.
1. I came here to be with my friends and have a good time.
2. I’m not interested in getting in your pants.
3. You are really going to have to try harder than that to get me.
But back to the pick up lines. His top 3 lamest of the night are as follows:
1. “I love your dress but I don’t know about you.” –Yes insulting a chick is the best way to get her.
2. “I’m a bullfighter.” –This one has a story behind it. My response was “You live in NYC. I don’t think there is much of a market for a bullfighter.” He replied that he traveled to Spain to do so. Me– “Um. Yeah. Ok.” He follows that up with some off hand remark about how he wants to get me alone. My response–“The chase is half of the fun.” Him–“Oh I know. That’s what I do for a living.” Me–“Ah. No. You get charged at by a bull. You aren’t chasing anything.”
3. “Ah. It’s love at first sight.”–Literally almost vomited.
Either way, I got his number. After our delightful booze cruise ended, we all went out to 230 Fifth. The instant I walked in I felt like I was in Vegas. Our boozing continued. AnnoyingPint passed out in a chair at one of the high bar tables. Idiot. The night was a success.
All in all, NYC is always a shit show for me, and I love every second of it!