God damn it. I can’t believe I am actually going to utter these words.
I like Clapper.
I legitimately fucking like him and he makes me happy.
(Going to vomit. Be right back.)
Seriously, I like him. I want to spent loads of time with him and I (kinda) want to spill my guts to him (but I’m also not stupid and know better than to do that).
I have sorta admitted this to him, which is more than I can say for most people in the past that have crossed my path.
Mr. Breadstick, Ms. Ineedacheeseburger, Charlie and Peace told me to stop being sissy basically and to get over my irrational fear of showing anyone any remote sense of emotion. And, well, I’m working on it. It’s slow and painful and it makes me very uncomfortable.
As I previous told Peace this week, “I’d rather suffer in my own silence then let someone know that they have had an emotional affect on me.”
Peace later told me that I deserved a man like Clapper because he is a lot of what I need in a partner (basically).
So I consulted my list (yes I really do have a list) to see how many of the “requirements” he meets. Clapper means a lot of them. He is:
smart,
has common sense,
knows what a mason jar is (need to ask. He is a yankee, so…)
makes me laugh (a lot actually),
affectionate (extremely),
kinda on the non-plan plan (so far),
has a big heart,
love unconditionally (let’s not get ahead of ourselves now),
has goals,
wants children (time the fuck out…I actually wrote that!?! My, my how things have changed and I don’t know what his answer is. Need to ask.),
not worry about money (we don’t discuss it),
have a truck (SUV…close enough for a city slicker),
hope,
caring,
love animals (that he does not),
act proper and mature (when necessary),
honest,
not a momma’s boy (doesn’t seem so, but we shall see. Need to ask.),
not an asshole for a father (Need to ask list.),
communicate well (he does!),
supportive,
fight back (not crossing that bridge yet),
spontaneous,
free,
adventurous,
simple in a way,
clean,
romantic,
understanding (is he ever),
giver,
selfless,
confident,
respectful,
open minded,
well traveled,
loyal,
cares about self (he has quotes written down everywhere),
nice body (snicker, snicker),
heart-warming smile,
know how to drive (once again he is yankee),
educated,
perk to play an instrument (need to ask list).
So, that would be 34 items checked off the list, 1 item that he does not meet and 7 unanswerables.
Not too shabby.
Pernelson 