Sunshine Is Beyond Random

image

Today was a highly adventurous day for Sunshine and I. We started off the day late but made our way to the beach which ended as quickly as it started. Why you ask? Simple. The wind was blowing at 20 miles per hour across the sand. If you don’t know what that means I’ll break it down for you. You’re standing there enjoy the waves and the breeze. Ah yes. What a nice breeze. Then it starts to sting. Ow. Ow. Owwwww. It get worse. It’s like being sand blasted constantly at different speeds. It fucking hurts!

So we made our way back to the driveway. I washed the truck, got hit on by the man checking the telephone poles. Awkward. Real awkward.

I ran in my Vibrams today. It was nice. Going to take a bit to adjust to them, but it felt good.

After this all, sense for Sunshine and I went out the window, completely. We discussed what it would be like to go through life without thumbs. The picture above is how Sunshine would drink water. (Blonde moment clearly.)

But in keeping with Sunshine’s randomness, this scene occurred.  We were watching a show about this man was having reconstructive surgery on his face and she looks at me, dead pan face, and goes “google pregnant midgets”. No lie.

But that was after I said this to her: “Damn I need to keep you around more often. You made my bed, you fixed my food, you washed my clothes and folded them, you washed the dishes, and you just spoon fed me. Why don’t you have a boyfriend again?” I’m such as ass. Ha. Our friend told me he’d punch me.

Finally, we topped off the night with with this quote “We are grown ass women trying to make fart noises with our armpits.”

(We failed by the way.)

Another rare thing about today is that I have literally talked to everyone today. Clapper with his random comments about the place that I’m staying. Mr. Soup and his serious comment about being serious and territorial. My friend from Cali. Mr. Delicious and well us just being normal friends. Mr. Breadstick and our general conversations. Ma. Peace and Gaga. Romeo and Juliet. Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers and our crazy in tune thoughts. And finally iamsohip and James Taylor, among other things.

What a day. Time for late night sexting. Hot damnnn.

Advertisements

3 Words–Update

In continuing from the “3 Words” post from March, where Mr. Soup uttered the unspeakable (I. Love. You.), Peace and I have had a continuing argument about whether or not his words count. I say not. She says so.

But to put an end to the argument, we will reference The Frisky for the answer of who is right. See article below. Specifically #7.

7 Occasions When Saying “I Love You” Doesn’t (Have To) Count

When I Love You Doesn't Count

Yesterday, Ami wrote about how the phrase “I love you”—despite endless debates about who should say it first and how often it should be said—doesn’t hold as much significance as its been assigned, because, in the end, it doesn’t bind two people together. Sure, say those three words when you mean them and not when the goal is to hear it back, but loving actions are even more important. But because so much importance has been placed on such a little phrase, many of us have likely said “I love you” for the wrong reasons. We’re not callous people here at The Frisky, but some of us have said that phrase when it shouldn’t have been said and when we haven’t really meant it. Here’s when “I love you” doesn’t necessarily count.

IT DOESN’T COUNT IF…

1. …you were young and naive. You told your high school boyfriend you loved him, didn’t you? And then the two of you broke up a few months later? At the time, you probably thought it was love when someone sent you roses on your 16th birthday and mailed you letters while you were at summer camp. But it’s not. Especially when he gets weird, won’t let you dump him, and starts showing up at your house uninvited. Definitely not love.

2. …you were lonely. This isn’t nice to do to someone, but sometimes you don’t realize until after the relationship is over that you were only in it because you were bored. You just kept staying together and going through the steps that you go through when you’re in a relationship, including saying “I love you.” And then, after you realized this, you broke his little heart. Oops. If you’ve done this accidentally, try not to do it again. If you’ve done this on purpose, shame on you.

3. …your blood alcohol content was five times the legal limit. We don’t advise binge drinking, but things can get out of control from time to time. We know. When they do, you might say something because you’re feeling so in the moment. Really, you’re just feeling those seven glasses of Pinot Grigio, you lush.

4. …you only have a vague idea that you might have said it. Just like you can totally blank on remembering to pick up milk at the grocery, you can forget about the feelings you had for someone after you’ve moved on. It’s possible that you and the guy you dated freshman year of college said those three words, but the relationship you had after him was so much better and deeper that it eclipses any love the two of you might have had.

5. …you slipped up and said it. A new relationship can sometimes feel like an old one, and you might accidentally say things you’ve said to other guys, i.e., called him someone else’s nickname or said “I love you” to him as you were hanging up the phone. It sucks when this happens because it might scare the new guy off, but it’s not your fault you’re having relationship deja-vu. If you pretend it never happened, he probably will too.

6. …you didn’t so much say it, as spell it. In candy. A Frisky staffer who shall remain nameless may have given a guy she thought she loved a carton of ice cream and wrote “I love you” in M&Ms on top. If you can’t actually vocalize it, girl, it ain’t real.

7. …you said it during sex. Goddamn oxytocin is a tricky bitch. Eyes rollin’ into the back of your head, hot dude thrusting away,hitting just that right spot and oh! Oh! Oh! “I love you!” Wait, what? No, you don’t. I mean, maybe you do, but if the first time you said it out loud is mid-orgasm, fingers crossed he was so caught up in his own big O to notice.

Now, go forth and choose your words wisely!

You Can’t Make A Puppet Out Of The Puppet Master Bitch.

May I just say that you can’t play a player. I really don’t understand people who try to get one over on me and think that I won’t notice. I have news for you. I will and then I will fuck you (not literally). But I digress for just a second to update you on why I have the need to say this, once again.

First, Mr. Soup decided that after shunning me since Spring Break in OBX that he would talk to again. Six short text messages later and that conversation was done. It went like this:
Mr. Soup: “Hey. What are you up to?”
Me: “Nothing much. Just packing for OBX. You?”
Mr. Soup: “Just really drunk from Goshen and really bored.”
Me: (What I thought) “Ohhh. So you can only talk to me when you are heavy intoxicated? Let me guess what you want and aren’t going to get.” (What I said), “Ha. Been out there all day?”
Mr. Soup: “Since like 3. I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you in forever.”
Me:  (What I thought) “Yep, and whose fault is that? Not mine. I know you are just interested in getting my pants, but my friends come first. Plus you have ignored me for 6 weeks and expect me to drop everything for you? Not happening in a million years. You made me wait, so you can wait too.” (What I said) “You haven’t since Spring Break OBX. Ha. You are welcome to come over. LNAYX and I are just going to sit around and throw a few back since he is just waiting on grades.”

Not a single response from Mr. Soup. Frankly, that really irritated the fuck out of me and it was unnecessary drama for the evening. LNAYX and I were just supposed to chill, catch up, drink a few, and relax. He leaves in a few days for home and I may or may not get to see him over the summer. LNAYX is like Mr. Boxer. I can tell them anything and I’ll never be judged and they will always be brutally honest with me. No reservations. That’s why I keep them as my close friends. They keep me sane and in check.

Moving on to my next and more important issue on the soapbox, FireNY. Since I have had the green light from Peace, I have allowed FireNY to continue his “talking to me”. It’s that awkward getting to know you stage. I approached PR about the situation and after 30 seconds of evaluation her exact response was, “Sounds like a douche, like Bert. Not worth your time.” Ha. This is why I love my friends. Well I decided to still feel out the situation. No need to lose friends over this.

Now my gut told me I wasn’t the only one. I assumed this because he is on his phone 24/7, literally. It is worse than a girl. Now I know that I don’t blow his shit up because I have more important things to do with my life. I have my friends and I like face time. So my wheels started to turn. Who was the jabbering with? Um. Ok. Two people can play at this game, and he doesn’t understand that I am not one to fuck with in situations like this. So what did I do? I backed off completely. I played the friend card. A text about twice a week. Hey how’s it going? How’s the family? Good luck on your test. Blah blah blah. He never talked about anything new that had happened and never talked about the weekends. Interesting. As a matter of fact you could send him messages on the weekends and he won’t respond or would leave shit out. Ummm. So I gave him the rope he needed and sure enough he hung himself. And the best part is he has no idea that he has even been caught.

LNAYX informed me last night that he, FireNY and their other roommate spent Easter together. Really? Interesting, because FireNY definitely left out that LNAYX was with him over Easter. Yet, he was asking me 20 million questions about who I was with. I went down to see my friend Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers BY MYSELF. FireNY, for whatever reason, had a difficult time believing that I traveled alone. Dude, I drove across the country and back by myself. Taking an 8 hour trip to see a friend is cake. Either way, this little bit of information of LNAYX traveling with FireNY over Easter was interesting because FireNY doesn’t want LNAYX to know that we are “talking”. Something didn’t sit right with me about this, and still doesn’t.

Then it all kinda clicked. I like LNAYX. We have a mutual attraction and both of us will admit it to each other. We have no shame saying that out loud. Either way, FireNY knows this. I remember on the first night that he hit on me, he told me that LNAYX had a girl at another college (which I thought was really soon considering he just broke up with his serious girlfriend like a month and a half before). FireNY basically proceeded to throw LNAYX under the bus, and you don’t do that shit to your friends. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Ever since that night the two of them haven’t been over to my apartment together. LNAYX and I chill and shoot the shit on the regular. FireNY knows this and he always asks what we are doing. Talking. Literally. I haven’t done anything with LNAYX. It would just complicate things.

Either way, on Cinco de Mayo, the boys went out and got wasted. LNAYX was supposed to come over. FireNY sent me a message later in the night and asked what I was doing. I was packing to go home for the weekend and LNAYX was supposed to come over to chill. FireNY said that he might come over later with LNAYX. No worries. I don’t give a shit one way or the other. So what happens? LNAYX gets fucked up 10 ways to Sunday at the bar and doesn’t come over. No big deal. He can do what he wants and I had other shit to do anyways. However, FireNY does come over. Ok. Whatever. I’ll enjoy the conversation and continue to pack. Not really a big deal right? Wrong.

So then LNAYX tells me last night that FireNY spent all weekend with his ex-ladyfriend, which he is entitled to do. We aren’t dating. However, what irritates the fuck out of me is that he lied to me about. He chose not to tell the whole truth. CHOOSING NOT TO TELL THE TRUTH IS THE SAME FUCKING THING AS LYING.  So toppled with all this other stuff, I got pissed for a number of reasons.

1. FireNY lied to me by not telling me the truth on more than one occasion.

2. FireNY is attempting to separate LNAYX and I as friends. You do not fuck with my friends. Ever.

3. FireNY is still around his ex. I don’t deal with shit that has baggage.

4. FireNY is playing games with me and he really doesn’t understand how bad of an idea that is.

Congratulations dude. You just fucked up majorly. Two can play at your game and I will win. You can’t make a puppet out of the puppet master bitch.

Wounded Warriors

http://wwpproudsupporter.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=308932&lis=1&kntae308932=E90807DCC708497EA66D722FFEB9FC94&supId=0&team=4161946&cj=Y

The Virginia Military Institute is doing a fundraising event for the Wounded Warriors Project called “Pullups for Patriots”. Click on the link above and sponsor on of the guys please. They are all VMI cadets. There is at least 1 veteran on the list with 2 deployments under his belt. And most of them are commissioning in the military on May 15th.

Please help support the men and women who gave their lives for your freedom.

(Side note: Mr. Soup and Mr. Breadstick are both on the list if that helps motivate any of you.)

Counseling

Yesterday I arrived at Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers’ house.  We enjoyed a wonderful afternoon of laying on the sofas and catching up on the latest points of our lives. Around midnight or so, we called it quits and made off to our rooms for some quality sleep.

I hopped in the shower and did my usual routine to get ready for bed. Brushing my teeth. Starring at myself in the mirror. The norm. As I’m doing this I get a text. I look down and surprise!  I have three messages. One from my beloved Sunshine. Standard Golden Girls quotes for the evening.

One from Mr. Soup, which is oddly hilarious because I had just finished telling Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers that he wouldn’t talk to me. Well he started the conversation with a simple “Hey. How are you?” Blah blah blah. Life is fine. I ended it by falling asleep before he had a chance to respond. Nevertheless, his response was basically blah blah blah things are ok. Things aren’t going well at home. Lovely. I fall asleep and he decides to confide in me. The closed off very reserved man decides to confide in me at 115AM!

The final message was from Mr. Breadstick. It simply said Ms. Ineedacheeseburger and I broke up. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I had just invited her to live with me for the summer and they broke up! Shit balls.

I told Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers this morning that someone must be listening to us. Whatever. It’s time for a day on the beach and dress shopping.

Variety

I feel like I’m the girl that bounces between clicks. It has suddenly occurred to me while sitting at lacrosse practice that none of my group of guy are actually friends. Let me break it down for you. You have LNAYX and FireNY. Buds of course but they could not be more removed from the thought process and actions of Mr. Breadstick and Mr. Soup. Same goes for Mr. Boxer and Mr. Mosquito.

The groups of guys are almost polar opposites so what boggles me about this is where do I fit in?  How did I honestly become friends with such a wide range of people?

Perhaps the answer is in the fact that I’m a nice person and a social butterfly. I know it has nothing to do with my intelligence. I don’t use my brain for the most part in an large capacity around the boys. If I do it’s rare. But I digress. In all seriousness though, why am I friends with such a variety of people?

Weird. Just weird.

More to come on this topic later. Got to get back to practice and Clapper is getting curious.

You Are Not Welcome

So my day yesterday got better yesterday. It was going swell for a whole 3 hours. I got to communicate, like legit communication conversation skills, with Mr. Soup. He still can’t control his facial expressions, but he seems more relaxed and open with me, which is a positive as I see it of course. Other will disagree with me, but that’s ok. Peace and I head off to lunch and talked like gossip whores we are, and we loved every minute of it. After lunch we were bored so we blogged and then digressed into makemebabies.com. Yes, we went there. It was epic. My love child with Peace was perfect, minus the mouth. That was totally off. My other love children with some unnameables were close to perfect. Peace’s last love child…was…a…redhead. Peace does not have red hair and neither did her mate. It was legitimately the best laugh I had all day.

Then the day went right back down the shitter. At 244PM to be exact I received an unwelcomed message. The background here is that on St. Patty’s Day my friend Juliet gave my number to a guy that I was dancing with. We will call him Mustang. (He drives a drives a drop dead gorgeous ’68 Mustang.) Anyways, she gave him my number without asking me. I never, ever give out my number to random people like that. Ever. Either way, there was nothing I could do about it at that point. He messaged me earlier this week and was asking about work, school, etc. Just small talk. He eventually told me he had a 4 day pass and this was his last free weekend for a while. Wonderful, right? I told him I was working all weekend and would not be available, which is the truth. I had a huge event for work yesterday and today, a second event for today, and a lax game tomorrow–all day. I thought that would be the end all, say all of our conversation about him visiting, which I wasn’t a fan of anyways. I discovered I was wrong at 244PM yesterday when he told me he was at my place of work, which is a college. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!? This is not acceptable by any standards. Forgive me, but I told Mustang I was working. Repeat after me, w-o-r-k-i-n-g–working. Why would he think that it was ok to show up unannounced, and uninvited? Manners dude, manners. I told him I was busy, which was the truth, and then I hid in my office like a scary little bitch. I knew that he would never find me in there because I was in a building that he couldn’t access. Thank god. I was panicking, no lie. His actions were creepy and unnecessary. Borderline stalker if you ask me. Regardless, I told him I was busy working on a project, and was unavailable. He said he’d see me later on then. Yeah right.

After a while I had to leave my office to do my job. I had to attend to my event on post. I made Peace go with me. Both of us terrified to see our unwelcomed visitors. I camped out as far away from people as I could get and I had an escape route planned too. Parade led to Mess Hall time. Upon walking down to the mess hall I saw his car. Panic. I walked quickly and with a purpose to get the fuck out of there. It wasn’t until I was exiting the mess hall that I saw him. And what did I do? Went right back in the mess hall and hid behind the door. I knew he didn’t see me, but I saw him. I made Peace be the look out until he left. I thought I was in the clear seeing has his vehicle had departed. Wrong. He came back!

Turns out he had taken a few students to dinner and had to drop them back off. He told me he wanted to see me and then proceeded to tell me he didn’t have anywhere to stay. NOT MY PROBLEM BRO.  I politely communicated that I was busy with work, which I was, and that I told him I was busy all weekend. At this point I was terrified to leave work. I didn’t want to go out to my vehicle alone. I officially knew what people felt when they had a stalker. After 30 minutes of sitting in my office, I made a friend of mine walk me out. I made my way home and then to LadyFriend’s house, where we gossiped, relaxed, bitched about our terrible days, and drank deliciousness from the blender.

It was a good end to a really fucking horrible day. I am still a bit scared that Mustang will show back up again. But as Sunshine said, “Be the cunt I know you can be.” Ha.

PS. For the men out there reading this, take a hint. When a girl says she is busy, she is and/or she doesn’t want to see you. DO NOT BE A CREEPER.