Doing Something When You’re Doing Nothing

So my Grandma went to church today and brought back the worship service pamphlet for the day. She instructed me that I needed to read the circled text.

Ok. Fine. I really like when religion is jammed down my throat but I’ll oblige temporarily.

Here’s what it said.

“When you are down to nothing, God is up to something. Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible. Thank God for our physical and spiritual nourishment.”

Take from it what you will but it is relative to my current situation. I am down to nothing, meaning I have no job and in some people’s eyes that means I’m worthless. But God is up to something. I know there is a reason why things are going the way that they are and I also know that I’m not going to get an explanation about this until everything is said and done.

There is a reason I’m not finding a job, and it has nothing to do with the lack of trying. I’m working my ass of on that part. Regardless, even though I don’t have a job, I am happy. I am truly happy. I’m not stressed, minus when Grandma moves shit around in my room.

I’m free and I love it.


Free Thinking

Whimsy challenged others to answer the 50 questions on the website, just as she did.  There are no right or wrong answers. Just a flow of free thinking.

Challenge accepted.


  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 27. Old enough to be taken seriously, but young enough to still have fun without having judgment passed.
  2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying because then you always wonder “what if”. For me, that is one of the worse possible things ever.
  3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Easy. We do the things we don’t like because we feel obligated too by society or others around us, but we like many things that we don’t do because those are the things that we really want to do. Those are the things that our soul wants to dance with.
  4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? No. Actions speak louder than words and my work should speak for itself.
  5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? The importance of cultural enrichment and that when you are doing something that doesn’t make you happy…change it.
  6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Being free, and doing something greater than myself.
  7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Currently I’m transitioning. I’m moving toward something that I love. I know better than to settle.
  8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? No. I make everyday what it should be. Things will happen or they won’t. In the mean time I’m not going to worry about it.
  9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? A larger degree. I am responsible for my own happiness and I’m not going to let someone tell me how to live my life.
  10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things. Your honor is all you have in the end.
  11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? Stop them. I remind them to never pass judgment on someone they don’t know. At the same time if they do know the person, then they are entitled to their opinion but I would ask them to refrain from talking about them negatively in front of me.
  12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Decide what is real.
  13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes.
  14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? No but this would be a glorious thing to witness.
  15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Think. I think a lot differently than others.
  16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because those are the things that light up my soul. Everyone is different.
  17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Live overseas. The only thing holding me back is finding a job.
  18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes. Always.
  19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? State–Montana. It is so beautiful and it makes me feel at peace. Country–Not sure. Probably somewhere in Europe.
  20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? I only push the button once.
  21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton. No need to worry ones head off about things you can’t control.
  22. Why are you, you? My past makes me who I am but it does not define my future.
  23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes. I will do anything for my friends. I love them all dearly.
  24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a good friend who lives near.
  25. What are you most grateful for? My mother teaching me to never settle for anything.
  26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Lose all my old memories. If you could never make new ones, it means that you would never live.
  27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? If you honestly believe in it, yes.
  28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? Yes. Many times.
  29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? Yes and yes. It defined my relationship with my father.
  30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? It’s not a single memory but a number of feelings that I remember from childhood that always occurred around Sunshine. She’s my rock.
  31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? Now. Right now with Clapper.
  32. If not now, then when? Immediately. Never delay for you may not have tomorrow to play.
  33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Nothing.
  34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Absolutely. Those are some of my favorite memories.
  35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because people will die for what they love and anything that challenges it.
  36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No. Too many things wade in the gray area.
  37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Yes, but only after I got a job doing something that I love.
  38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work that I actually enjoy. Makes you feel much more accomplished.
  39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Yes. I don’t like the repeat button.
  40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Honestly I haven’t the slightest clue and that’s disappointing.
  41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? No one. I’d count my blessings with Mother Nature.
  42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No. Beauty is only skin deep.
  43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive means that you are going through life doing nothing profound. Living means that you are actively participating in your life.
  44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? After about 30 seconds. Makes head and tails of the situation and just go with your gut. If you are wrong then you will learn something.
  45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Making a mistake means you fail. Failure is frowned upon by society.
  46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Nothing really. I do what I want now and don’t really care what people think. I am me. You are going to like me or you aren’t.
  47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? When I was sick. So winter time I suppose.
  48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love being free, and a majority of my recent actions clearly display this.
  49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? I’ll remember a few things, like rescuing kittens with Iamsohip, because it is an action bigger than myself. I’ll remember Flag Day, because it’s Clapper’s birthday.
  50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? Making them for myself. I am responsible for my own life.

A Free Mind Will Rest Follow (Yoda) I came across this website that listed 50 questions that would free your mind.  There’s no right or wrong answer.  So.  I will now expose my mind via blog by answering 25 of the 50 questions.  I encourage you to do the same.  You’d be surprised at what you’re forced to reflect on. 1)  How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I’d be the toddler who gets pissed at herself for falling down, but gets back up anyway. 2)  Which is worse … Read More

via Whimsy

Breaking Up

One of my biggest pet peeves is when you tell me you are going to do something and you don’t actually follow through with it. This is happened to me twice this weekend.

As I previously wrote Ms. Ineedacheeseburger and Mr. Breadstick had split sighting religious differences. Well they got back together to “work things out” on Easter. Here’s the deal. Ms. Ineedacheeseburger is an Eastern Orthodox Catholic. Mr. Breadstick is either Baptist or Methodist (I can’t recall). So there are some difference in the way the Christian religion is practiced between the two. What their argument boiled down to is Ms. Ineedacheeseburger wants their children (if they get married and have them) to be raised like she was and Mr. Breadstick disagrees.

Now speaking from experience, this is an issue that Pig and I had. He was Catholic and I am a Southern Baptist. We did the same thing. We talked about our differences of practice and tried to gain a basic understanding of each other’s religions. Blah blah blah. So on and so forth. But in the end it came down to him wanting our children to be Catholic and I didn’t. It was one of the reasons we parted ways. Hindsight is 20-20, I know, but looking back Pig and I held on to a failing relationship for longer than we should have simply because we didn’t want to admit that our religious differences were a deal breaker. Sadly, I believe that this is what Mr. Breadstick and Ms. Ineedacheeseburger are doing as well. Nevertheless, time will tell and they will both learn something about themselves in the end.

As Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers pointed out to me, Patti Stanger says, “Religion…is a deal-breaker. Can’t take a Jew and mix it with a Baptist. Not gonna make it happen in a million years.”

The second split of the weekend that turned out to hold no water was between Mr. Delicious and TF. This relationship is honestly worse than beating a dead horse. I mean really. They have been over their issues time and time again and yet they still keep riding a quickly sinking ship. I don’t really get it. Why would you waste your time? Either way, Mr. Delicious told me on Thursday that TF punched him five times (closed fist) because she is has PMS. She demanded a massage  and then claimed Mr. Delicious was hurting her, which I can personally say that Mr. Delicious gives excellent massages, so that cannot possibly be true. Fucking ridiculous. This is not the first time she has hit him either. Personally, if he hit her back, I wouldn’t blame him one bit. Whatever. They apparently worked it out and spent Easter together.

Either way, I believe both of these relationships are complete horseshit and they need to end.  Learn something about yourself. Move on. Unfortunately, they can see what I see because they are blinded by “love”. But I can promise you when the bottom does fall out, I’ll be there to help pick up the pieces.

Picket My Funeral And I’ll Come Back From The Dead.


Why, may I ask, is this ok?! Ignorance is not an excuse to act like this or to treat others as if they are below you. As a Christian, you are humble before God and you are superior to no one. As for the Westboro Baptist Church, I do not understand their mission, or even remotely their train of thought. If they honestly think that they are in the right to do the things they do, they are severally mislead.

I do not understand the point of the church picketing funerals. The dead of lived whatever life they have chosen to live. Let their families grieve in peace! Furthermore, the Westboro Baptist Church is giving Baptists and Christians alike a poor name. Part of being a Christian is acceptance of everyone. You love people despite their flaws. Sins are forgiven and it’s not your place to judge them. It’s God’s. If the church wants people to become Christians, then perhaps they should look at what they are doing. Acting in the manner that they do drives people away, and angers others.

Honestly, I hope that God frowns severally upon the individuals who thought that it was a good idea to picket funerals. I can also promise you that if they were to ever show up at a funeral that I was at, I would be arrested for a number of offenses. I believe they would back off if a rifle was pointed in their face. It’s sad that violence of that nature is even considered being used but sometimes fighter force with a greater force is necessary.

Finally, you rep what you sow. Karma will not be kind to them in the future, and I hope that they get everything that they deserve.

Give Me Presents Galore!

In light of the fact that Christmas is 23 days away, I feel absolutely compelled to write about it now. Much like Christmas, everything else related to it comes sooner that necessary and too over the top. Since when does the holiday calendar go from Halloween to Christmas? Thanksgiving comes before Christmas, yet it’s like everyone skips it.

Christmas has become too much; over glorified for the wrong reasons. From the over abundance of expensive toys to the ridiculous drunken parties, people have forgotten what Christmas is truly about. They forget that it’s a Christian holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus. It’s a holiday to celebrate time with family and friends. It’s a time to be humble. It’s not a time to get completely drunk so that you miss it because you were in bed all day with a hangover. It’s not a time to ask for the most expensive things that you can, just so you can not care about them and not use them three weeks later. It’s not a time acting angry at the word either.

Mostly I get irritated at Christmas with small children and their parents. When I was a kid, my mother and father were struggling one year for money so they went to the dollar store and bought me a mop, broom, bucket, etc. On Christmas I almost pooped myself with excitement. Think about this. I got cleaning supplies and I was ecstatic! How many children now-a-days would be happy about cleaning supplies? Most wonder what they were. I can see it now.

“Go sweep? What is that?”

“Is this that thing the maid uses to suck up dirt?”

“You want me to do WHAT?!”

Yeah. You get my point. I don’t understand buying copious amounts of junk especially if they aren’t appreciated. I realize that at some point in my younger years I was like this, but my parents (especially my mother) trained me well. I worked for what I got and I damn good-in-well appreciated it. Now for Christmas I only give my time to people, something I’ve spent time making, or practical gifts. It shows that I care. When I see extremely giving, it makes me sick to my stomach. It also proves to me that money doesn’t buy happiness. The “happiness” of the gift doesn’t create a memory or last forever. Your quality time does.

This year for Christmas, I challenge you to be different. Only give things straight from the heart. Stay away from the stores (unless you see a fabulous pair of boots that you just must have for yourself), and make something. Give a heartfelt gift. Be yourself. Be original.