You Are Not Welcome

So my day yesterday got better yesterday. It was going swell for a whole 3 hours. I got to communicate, like legit communication conversation skills, with Mr. Soup. He still can’t control his facial expressions, but he seems more relaxed and open with me, which is a positive as I see it of course. Other will disagree with me, but that’s ok. Peace and I head off to lunch and talked like gossip whores we are, and we loved every minute of it. After lunch we were bored so we blogged and then digressed into Yes, we went there. It was epic. My love child with Peace was perfect, minus the mouth. That was totally off. My other love children with some unnameables were close to perfect. Peace’s last love child…was…a…redhead. Peace does not have red hair and neither did her mate. It was legitimately the best laugh I had all day.

Then the day went right back down the shitter. At 244PM to be exact I received an unwelcomed message. The background here is that on St. Patty’s Day my friend Juliet gave my number to a guy that I was dancing with. We will call him Mustang. (He drives a drives a drop dead gorgeous ’68 Mustang.) Anyways, she gave him my number without asking me. I never, ever give out my number to random people like that. Ever. Either way, there was nothing I could do about it at that point. He messaged me earlier this week and was asking about work, school, etc. Just small talk. He eventually told me he had a 4 day pass and this was his last free weekend for a while. Wonderful, right? I told him I was working all weekend and would not be available, which is the truth. I had a huge event for work yesterday and today, a second event for today, and a lax game tomorrow–all day. I thought that would be the end all, say all of our conversation about him visiting, which I wasn’t a fan of anyways. I discovered I was wrong at 244PM yesterday when he told me he was at my place of work, which is a college. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!? This is not acceptable by any standards. Forgive me, but I told Mustang I was working. Repeat after me, w-o-r-k-i-n-g–working. Why would he think that it was ok to show up unannounced, and uninvited? Manners dude, manners. I told him I was busy, which was the truth, and then I hid in my office like a scary little bitch. I knew that he would never find me in there because I was in a building that he couldn’t access. Thank god. I was panicking, no lie. His actions were creepy and unnecessary. Borderline stalker if you ask me. Regardless, I told him I was busy working on a project, and was unavailable. He said he’d see me later on then. Yeah right.

After a while I had to leave my office to do my job. I had to attend to my event on post. I made Peace go with me. Both of us terrified to see our unwelcomed visitors. I camped out as far away from people as I could get and I had an escape route planned too. Parade led to Mess Hall time. Upon walking down to the mess hall I saw his car. Panic. I walked quickly and with a purpose to get the fuck out of there. It wasn’t until I was exiting the mess hall that I saw him. And what did I do? Went right back in the mess hall and hid behind the door. I knew he didn’t see me, but I saw him. I made Peace be the look out until he left. I thought I was in the clear seeing has his vehicle had departed. Wrong. He came back!

Turns out he had taken a few students to dinner and had to drop them back off. He told me he wanted to see me and then proceeded to tell me he didn’t have anywhere to stay. NOT MY PROBLEM BRO.  I politely communicated that I was busy with work, which I was, and that I told him I was busy all weekend. At this point I was terrified to leave work. I didn’t want to go out to my vehicle alone. I officially knew what people felt when they had a stalker. After 30 minutes of sitting in my office, I made a friend of mine walk me out. I made my way home and then to LadyFriend’s house, where we gossiped, relaxed, bitched about our terrible days, and drank deliciousness from the blender.

It was a good end to a really fucking horrible day. I am still a bit scared that Mustang will show back up again. But as Sunshine said, “Be the cunt I know you can be.” Ha.

PS. For the men out there reading this, take a hint. When a girl says she is busy, she is and/or she doesn’t want to see you. DO NOT BE A CREEPER.


And It Goes On And On

Hello world. I didn’t forget about you for the day. I’m sure that you can tell by the tone of this post that things are better between the travel buddy and I. They are but its not what you are thinking. Let me explain.

So left you with the basic point that traveling jackass was getting on my nerves. It got worse. I lost my nugget this morning. The idiot had gone down to the casino to gamble (remember we are in Vegas). While gambling I know he was drinking whiskey mixed drinks. I don’t know how many he consumed but when he came back to the room he was fucked up drunk. Wonderful right?

He drank way too much last night. Woke me up in the middle of the night because he was throwing up. I lost my shit on him this morning. I was so mad I was shaking. Afterward he had the nerve to ask me what he did wrong so I lit into him again. I dropped him off at the airport in Vegas.

Call it me being a bitch. I don’t care. I had enough. After promptly putting him out on the curb of the airport, my trip became instantly better. I made my way from Vegas to LA with ease. However,I sooner realized that although LA is pretty , its not really my style.

So I was in-and-out like the burger. I was originally planning to go see the Grand Canyon, the Painted Desert, etc. But after calling my mother and checking the weather, we decided that this was not a good idea because the area got a ton of snow poured on them. So I changed plans and am currently making my way to Dallas, Texas. Its a challenge to make it there before 7PM. I’ll have to let you know later today how that went.

The drive today was occupied by a whole lot of desert. Not exciting. I had meaningful conversations and much needed entertainment from LadyFriend, Mr. Boxer, Mr. Mosquito, Mr. Breadsticks, Mr. Greek, Mr. Delicious, and Ma. Once again, their conversations are greatly appreciated.

Here’s to the Dallas Challenge, watching the sunset in LA and watching it rise somewhere in Texas.

I Love The Snow.

Today we left from Denver heading to Las Vegas. We started off our day seeing a sign that we didn’t see last night (below). It made me giggle just a little bit.

Next I discovered that my truck doesn’t like the higher altitude. Poor Vinny was struggling to accelerate and definitely didn’t feel like moving. After 5 minutes on the road, I got my second surprise of the day. Traffic. Lots of traffic. But I was able to view The Rockies. Beautiful. Then my beautiful Rockies became snow covered Rockies. The snow was my third surprise. It snowed and snowed and snowed some more. I looked at snow for about 10 hours today. But I digress.

That was the positive of my day. The negative began about an hour after I got up and the breakfast table. ‎​My annoying ass driving buddy told me he was going to bring someone back to the room. I told him I’d kill him. Then he said that given the chance I wouldn’t do. I told him he was dead ‎​ wrong. Then he changed the subject and said he had a hard time breathing last night. I had to refrain from telling him its because he was fat and out of shape. That was all within an hour of being a wake and I’m not a morning person.

The day progressed and I tolerated him all day long until we got into Vegas and the hotel. I lost my nugget just a little bit. The torn in my side was acting like a little annoying fucking kid. “Come on. Come on. Come on. You know you have to be a little bit excited” which I’ve heard about 50 times today. I had enough. I told him very seriously that I’m not excited. This is not my fucking city and to drop the fucking subject. I didn’t want to hear another word about it. He’s response: “It’s just all in the attitude.” Me: “Yes and yours is really fucking immature. Case closed.”

After that we were ok. I told him that I needed some “me” time and for him to go out. I will have to say I got in some much needed shower time and chat time with Mr. Soup. He is sick, unfortunately, so I made him feel better via the phone. I boosted his night, but his health, sadly.

I also had some pleasant conversations with Mr. Boxer, Mr. Breadsticks, Sunshine, LadyFriend, Grace Kelly and Mr. Greek today. I thank them everyday for providing me endless hours of entertainment while on the road.

Now its off for veg time. I’m sleepy and ready to eat. Plus I need to prepare for the possible high five I’ll have to give tomorrow.



Vacation Day 2. Before I even went to bed last night I knew that today was going to be uneventful. I had made no plans on purpose. Days like these give me a chance to think, which inherently for me is a horrible idea in and of itself. The day started off with Le Phrey (the dog) vomiting in her crate. Yes, the first sound of the day was not bird chirping or cows mooing, it was Phrey gaging herself. Unwillingly I dragged myself out of bed and deal with Phrey. Once she was looking so fresh and so clean, clean, and decided to practice my housebitch skills, also known as housewife skills. I slaved over a dirty floor and dusty counter-tops for two whole excruciating hours. Cleaning is not my go to thing unless I’m stressed, which I’m not. Thus, I thought a lot. I told myself a few stories. Dreamed of this or that. Made up dialogues of what it would be like for me and someone that I know to live in Africa and help small children. Blah blah blah. You get the picture. My daydreaming continued in the shower, through painting my nails, and into my nap. Once I awoke from my beauty sleep I had a few more ideas, and I few conclusions, but I decided to think some more. I was the thinking man right through shopping with my mother.

Then Mr. Delicious spoke to me. SHIT. Randomly out of the blue Mr. Delicious, yet again, intervenes in my life. Why? Because he feels like he can confide in me. For some reason a lot of people feel this way, which I’m not opposed to at all. I just don’t understand it. Nevertheless, always willing to lend an eye, I listened to his praises and his woes. Advice was offered, but I still can’t get out of my head why he picked me to get advice from.

This train of thought was interrupted by Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in The Tourist. I was able to watch an ok film and give my mind a rest. Give it a chance to rest. But not the fret, as soon as the flick was over it was back to thinking. Here are the conclusions that I have come to over the course of the day:
1. I could be a high class paid escort, but not a stripper or pose for playboy.
2. I want a dog but not right now.
3. I’m going to declaw Lucy if she keeps picking at the furniture.
4. Mr. Soup was totally worth it and I’d do him again in a heartbeat.
5. I still can’t get the look Mr. Mosquito gave me in August out of my head.
6. Same goes for how Mr. Soup reacted Saturday morning.
7. I truly don’t understand why Sunshine relies on Mr. Bear and Mr. HairSwoop the way she does. They really aren’t good friends.
8. LadyFriend and I must go to Ireland, and get tattoos.
9. Mr. Boxer is a good friend to me and I trust him completely, which surprises me because I don’t trust anyone like that.
10. I judge my mother for things that I don’t understand and although it’s frustrating, it’s not my problem.
11. Same goes from my douchebag cousin and her thing of a man that I equate to road kill.
12. I don’t really, seriously feel a damn thing for my father. It’s more like a torn in my side. Although, I do think that I could feel something for him if it wasn’t for the GoldDigger and Company attachments he has.
13. I might try a new diet because I think it’s a good idea.
14. Coconut water is gross.
15. Mushrooms and ranch topped off my night.

My Best-est Friend(s)

This one is for my closest friends. I’m having a sappy moment, which y’all know is rare, but give me a minute. I hear this song this weekend after my friends had left town. These are my boys of summer. I have missed them greatly and as much as they know I’m not about the sappy shit, I think they would fine a little humor in this. So here’s to Mr. Mosquito, Mr. Boxer, Baller, LadyFriend (not like that), and Sunshine.