Next time someone challenges to conform, say no. You have to be yourself first before you can be responsible for anyone else. I see many of my friends become what their partner wants them to become. It honestly makes me so so sad for them. You must be your own independent self with your own life. Losing yourself in a relationship is one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make. When that relationship dissolves, you discover how alone you really are. You have no friends because you allowed your significant other to consume your life. None of your old friends want to be your friend again because they see the repeat offender that you are–find a guy/girl, ditch your friends. No one likes taking a back seat to your relationship. There is a reason the says “Bros before hoes” and “Chicks before dicks” exist. Your relationship won’t always be there, but your friends will. Take care of yourself, take care of your friends (and family), then take care of our significant other. If you don’t, do not expect any of them to be standing their waiting to catch you when the bottom falls out. Hitting the ground face first hurts. Don’t be a victim.
Why? Why? WHY are “relationships” so damn complicated? I grew up with a fairly black and white model of what a relationship is. You are one of three things: single, have a sexual partner (just ONE!), or in a committed relationship. See sweet and simple. I do not understand how the society that we live in got so complicated, so I’m challenging you to fit yourself (and you over-sized relationship) in to one of these simple boxes.
SINGLE–It means exactly what it sounds like. Just one. Just you. No attachments. No commitments. You are friends with people, but you are not having sex with another. There is no one but you that you have to be responsible for. You are free to come and go as you please, but mind you this does not give you the right to act like an asshole. Do as your mother taught you; treat others the way that you want to be treated. Be single, be free, and don’t be a whore.
HAVING A SEXUAL PARTNER–Once again, it is what it sounds like. You have ONE sexual partner. Just one. You are, yet again, not allowed to act like a whore. It’s not safe and if you are a man, you will have some crazy bitches chasing you. No one wants that. This sweet little relationship allows you to get the milk without buying the cow. You can have fun in the sack, but you don’t have to have dinner with them first. It’s like semi-relationship. Just don’t be sleeping with any and everything that has legs.
A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP–For the third time, it’s what it sounds like. You are in a one, committed relationship with one person. You are required to participate in life with this person, which includes communication and actually paying attention to them. You have to purchase the cow to get the milk. Ladies, please allow the gentlemen to do the chasing. This way they think it’s their idea and it works out better for you. Moreover, please make sure that they are gentlemen. Leave the douchebags, assholes, and scumbags alone.
Now with these relationships, you are not allowed to have add-ons. No extra’s on the side. Doing so moves you into a different category typically labeled “unproductive whore which contributes nothing expect a headache and needs to attend AA meetings (assholes anonymous)”.
For once in your life, break the norm and conform to one of these three boxes.
Life is what you make it, so stop being an overbearing, uncooperative little pest and LIVE. I always ask “You’re alive, but are you living?” I mean truly think about this. If you just open your eyes, how many people do you see every single day that are simply going through the motions of life. It’s the same old routine and then they wonder why they have a mid-life crisis. So please do me a huge favor. Take risks. Jump head first off the cliff. Free fall. BE FREE. LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Now to all of you who read this, first, thank you. I hope it’s entertaining. Two, I’m sorry. I know I have been away for a while but I’m attempting to get back on my A game here and still have 365 meaningful posts in 365 days. By the way that’s 45 posts that I have to make up. Perhaps a new goal before New Year’s Eve? Yes, I know I have a lot of work to do. If there is anything that you would like for me to write about, please let me know. It can be about anything, including polar bears.
Love and peace.
Funny how some people just waltz back into your live, either by force or by accident. My little dilemma begins with ex-boyfriends, or in some cases ex-mess around friends. I find it absolutely perplexing that somehow these people end up back in my life. And I still beg the question of how and why? Lets give the most recent examples. We have Mr. Breadstick. Ah, yes, the ever famous Mr. Breadstick. I’ll have to explain more in detail later about his dearest self. Long story short, Mr. Breadstick is an ex. He dumped me a few days before a major holiday. He played me by talking to someone else, Ms. Ineedacheeseburger, at the same time and in the process he coincidently “forgot” to tell his friend, Mr. Soup, that he was talking to Ms. Ineedacheeseburger. Mr. Soup and Ms. Ineedacheeseburger were talking as well.
So back to the point here. Mr. Breadstick left me for Ms. Ineedacheeseburger and then proceeded to give me the cold shoulder for a while. Now I deserved it at first because I acted like an irrational crazy bitch (standard, right?), but after I apologized, we were on an even playing field. This is when he proceeded to meld in my business, and we didn’t talk for oh say 6 months. Then out of the blue, seemingly, he wants to be my friend. Text me, call me. Some for business. Some not. My gut is telling me this is all wrong. He wants something, or better yet, doesn’t want me to have something. Regardless, I feel that this can not turn out well. Am I being paranoid or rightfully guarded?
Case number two of people waltz back into your life. Mr. Delicious. Delicious as he may be, he can leave a tart taste in your mouth. Last I had written, I discovered he had a girlfriend which he forgot to mention as part of his life updates. They are still together. Happily and stupidly so, I believe. But more to the point, we were working together on an event and I gave him a helpful pointer not because it was him but because he looked like an idiot and I needed to politely fix the issue. However, he for some odd reason took this as the open door policy to contact me whenever he damn well feels like it now. Don’t get me wrong, we could be friends. However, he burnt me and didn’t have the balls to tell me so. Somehow I can’t see this adding up to a very productive friendship either. Am I right to keep him at an arm’s length distance?
And for our final display of ballroom dancing we have Mr. Mosquito. Once again, more to come on him later, but Mr. Mosquito and I have had a continuous flirtation with each other for about 2 years now. This past summer we added fuel to the already burning fire. This is fairly standard for us–him being the nonconforming male who never admits when he is wrong and when he doesn’t have a smartass comeback all you hear is “oh fuck you”; and me being the ever independent female who teases like there is no tomorrow and replies to his “oh fuck you” statement “be careful how you say that to people” with a smirk of course. Yes, Mr. Mosquito and I go together like Kate Hudson and Dane Cook at the end of My Best Friend’s Girl. Two equally self righteous people who fuck with each other all the time and love every minute of it. Mr. Mosquito comes and goes from my life as he pleases but seeing him still makes me light up like a bulb and nothing ever changes between us. Somehow I still think I should throw caution to the wind with this one. Thoughts?