Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers sent me the photo above today, and it got me to thinking. I don’t think women really understand the definition of what pants are.

So let’s review.

Pants–according to Merriam-Webster–are  “an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle —usually used in plural”. From the waist to the ankle people. Thus, your ass crack playing free bird does not count as wearing pants. Furthermore, pants are to be COVERING each leg from the waist to the ankle. Thus, if I can see your underwear, or your skin in any fashion, through your “pants”, you fail. You not wearing pants, and you need to spare yourself some embarrassment and others their eye sight, and change.

For those of you would need a visual diagram to assist in the learning process…

This are pants:

These are not:

Pants of an acceptable nature:

Pants of a not so acceptable nature:


Not pants:

As you can see the art of finding acceptable pants is seemingly difficult, so when in doubt, check for 3 things:
1. Are they see through?
2.  Are they so tight that it’s causing unsightly things to appear?
3. Is your ass crack showing (to include when sitting or bending over)?
If you answered no to all three questions (honestly), you should be set to appear in public with pants on.


2 thoughts on “Pants

  1. iamsohip says:

    HAHA! Ok…. so HOLY COW! what the hell is the whole bikini-bottom/jean combination doing? That’s ridiculous (and also something christina aguilera would totally rock pre-baby fat).
    Hysterical schematic, so thank you for that!

  2. Ms. EatsPlentyOfCheeseburgers says:

    Your demo is on par with the original chart- well played!

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