Defeated

Do you ever wake up and feel defeated? That’s pretty much how yesterday and then next few days are going to go for me. I have hit a brick wall and I really don’t feel like trying anymore when it comes to the job search. Shooting myself in the foot would be less painful.

I have decided that if I don’t get a job by the end of June that I am going to move to some where really random and get two part time jobs and become a bum for a year. I see no point in becoming a white collar worker when everything about their world pretty much rubs me the wrong way. Where as in the blue collar world I actually enjoy the feeling of dirt in between my finger or food prep. I just don’t like to sweat that much and I can’t be around grass (makes me sneeze too much and my face feels like it’s going to itch off).

I know that I really can’t have a desk job. It drives me insane. I like being outside or at least the freedom to move. The thought of being an a small office makes me want to vomit. I need sunlight and something to keep my hands busy. If my hands aren’t busy neither is my mind and that leads to lots of really bad things.

So here’s to up and moving to a strange new place and doing whatever comes my way. Struggling included.

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