There are 40 plus years between Mrs. Hayes and myself, yet I can relate to her so well in this article. How is that two individual’s so far apart can relate over the simple topic of dating? I know that everything that she describing about new relationships is so, so true for me.
As I was reading this article, I was completing a mental checklist of agreements. Four big points that she makes in the article really touched me. The first, access. Where in the world do you go to meet people? I don’t want to go to a bar and pick up men. Somehow I don’t see me finding Prince Charming in a bar. Most of the men in a bar only want to fuck you. Quick and dirty. In and out. I don’t want to go to a church group organizational type thing. It’s just not my cup of tea. I probably shouldn’t date in my group of friends. It just complicates far too many things. Finally, I do not do the online dating thing. I just can’t bring myself to do it. So what does that leave me? I honestly can’t think of anything. Sure I can go about my daily life and just hope Mr. Right falls out of the sky, but the chances of that happening are slim to none.
The second item that Mrs. Hayes discusses is emotions from past relationships dictating actions in new relationships. Please leave your emotional baggage at the door. Part of being in a relationship means that you have be emotional sound. You can’t be bouncing around like a crack rabbit. I do have a mild tenacity to do this sometimes. I’ll tell you I like you and then when you get close, I push you away. But more often than not, I do put myself out there and the guy is the one that freaks out and panics. He allows a previous situation with a girl dictate his emotions and ruin his current situation with a girl. So please, please stop it! Stop worrying about everything and just breathe.
Third, Mrs. Hayes noted the expectations piece of a new relationship. I’m totally guilty of this. I have a expectations, but they aren’t want you think they are. I, for the most part, just assume that when a guy doesn’t do certain things that the situation is going to hell in a hand basket and I get the hell out of there. Quickly. I know this is wrong but I’m slowly attempting to get over it. I need to get over it. I need that open mind.
Finally, I do bring experience to the table. Much like my friend Boot use my experience to clear up somethings from the beginning. My experience also lets me know when to trust and when not too.
So now it’s time to take my lessons and jump into the next great thing. What it is I don’t know, but I know I’m ready for whatever comes my way.