Dear Mr. Haynesworth,
I would like to inform you that your life could be so great but you clearly are on a course to fuck it up. Between your lazy ass not doing preseason workouts, and you being a big fat meanie and slugging people in the face, you really suck at life. I hope you realize that one day when your life is in shambles that you will ultimately regret these choices. In the mean time please on your fucking up. It provides lots of valuable, eye-rolling entertainment for the rest of America.
P.S. Don’t hit me if you see me. You’re not suppose to hit girls.