When I first read the words “Maybe you don’t like him, maybe you just want to be him” in the article above, I stopped dead. Shit. They were right. They are on to me. As odd as it sounds, I don’t really want to be just like him, but I want the things that he has. I want to be seen as smart, sexy, and successful. I want the life that I feel I’m entitled to (and that he has).
But why? Why can I not be content with what I have? Why do I always have to try to be better? Be the perfect lady and bring home the bacon? Maybe it’s because of how my mother raised me. To be strong, independent, driven, free, and bullheaded as hell sometimes. But did her guidance hurt me in the long run? Am I too independent for my own good? Does my boldness turn guys away? And if it doesn’t, then where the fuck have they all gone?
I know who I am, and I know I want epic things out of life. But the question remains, what road am I really traveling and were will I end up? One day when I’m ninety, I want to know that I have life my live as it was intended to be lived. I just wish I knew what was between now and then so I didn’t stress so much over it. I’m not a patient waiter.