Irritated Lesbians

Today was the first day of vacation, and I have never been so irritated and thought of as a lesbian in my life. After 3 hours of sleep, I arose looking like death of course. I stumbled my way through the shower, managed to make myself look like I was awake and skated out the door. It was off to pick up my long lost pain in the ask cat, Tigger, for a trip to the vet. Driving 20 minutes to Ma’s, picking the asshole, and it was back on the road with a screaming, crying like someone had killed his best friend cat. P.S. Tigger is a HUGE pain in the ass. He day he dies my mother will rejoice with happiness.

I drove back home to toss the rest of the kids (Lucy, Dewey, Mi and Andy) in the car, then Sunshine and I were on the way to the vet. Now picture it. The vet’s office. 2 women. 5 cat crates. Yep, 5 cat crates. We looked like the crazy cat lesbian ladies. We bought a round of shots and everybody got back in the car. Stopped by the house to throw the kids out and it was off to town.

I hate town. I hate shopping. I hate the people in the damn town attempting to drive. Traffic, traffic, and more traffic. Idiots. All of them are idiots. Stopping in the middle of the road. Waiting, waiting. Me screaming as loud as possible all sorts of words and phrases that would make grown men cry. The people are rude. You want to kick all of the greedy ass children. Let’s not forget the old people. We aren’t even going to get started on that. Honestly, I got things that I needed for Christmas, but for a Tuesday and the time of the year, I hated every minute of it.

Changing from irritated shoppers back to lesbians, Sunshine and I went to stuff our faces like fat kids and talk about sex and all sorts of other inappropriate topics. After wining and dining, Sunshine and I came home to curl up with the Golden Girls, oreos and milk. Both utterly tired and wearing our food comas proudly, we are sacking out for the night. The housework can just wait.

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