Everyone has those few special things that they always notice in the opposite sex. For me it’s the eyes, the upper back, and the hands. I have a really hard not staring at someone who meets those characteristics. Mr. Soup, he meets them. I saw him today. I was leaving my office to go freeze out in the cold (I’m dethawing now.), I begin to climb the stairs. I look up and there he is! My thoughts went a little something like this: “It’s like a coming to mecca. I physically felt my drop jaw (oops), and like a trained cat, I stalked him with my eyes, head to toe and back up. Sweet baby jesus. He is drool worthy. Oh the things I would do. Wait. He’s lips are moving. YUM! Shit! He’s talking to me and I have no idea……” Conversation begins:
Me: “I’m sorry. I was distracted. What did you say?”
Mr. Soup: “Did you get that tap situation fixed?”
Starring into his blue eyes. Try not to drool.
Me: “Oh. Damn. No. I forgot. Not really worried too much about it since [insert name here] still has one.”
Thoughts: He is talking to me and I’m not listening because I’m eye fucking you. Look at those beautiful eyes, those working man hands. If only I could see you without a shirt on.
Mr. Soup: “Are you ok?”
Me (what I actually said): “Oh yeah. Just tired. Didn’t sleep well last night and I went to the chiropractor yesterday so my neck is really sore. No worries. I’ll see you later.”
Me (what I actually wanted to say): “Oh no. I’m not. I’m really distracted by this hot man standing in front of me. Would you care to fix me though? I’ll sure as in hell let you touch me if you could get these knots out of my neck and shoulders.” Drool. Drool. Drool.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Soup is that fucking hot. And why he doesn’t have a girlfriend I don’t know, but I will tell you straight up I will jump that if I could.