You Are Living, But Are You Alive

It’s so common that I observe so many people just going through the motions of life. They have no hopes, dreams, or desires. They dare to even think of them. They continue along the same boring, bullshit life that they always have lived. What happened between now and when they were a kid?

Growing up you have all of these hopes, dreams, and an infinite imagination. Why do they all seem to disappear? You get the point that you can’t even recall how it feels to dream, to live, and to breathe free of restraint. You wake up and realize that you live the way that you said you never would. You have become your mother or  your father. You have given up on becoming the teacher, the firefighter. Joining the Peace Corps, or the Army suddenly seem so distant. Your hope of having a successful career is over shadowed by the miserable job that you hold. You wake up and realize that your family is disconnected. Your husband/wife doesn’t acknowledge or dote on you. Your children hate you for being assertive, yet beg for your attention. Even the dog only likes you when you feed it.

You start to think. 22 only seemed like yesterday. You wanted to trek through the amazon, see Petra, run a marathon. You start to daydream. Floating off into the world they way you wish it was; the way it should have been. Reality snatches you right back into your miserable, depressing life.  What the hell happened?! Some people say that life happened. I disagree. I think you stopped living all together. Things got hard, so you bailed. It was your choice to stop actively participating in your life. You made the decision to check out. You put yourself on auto-pilot. Now you are confused as to why you wake up with a mid-life crisis? This really shouldn’t be a surprise.

Forgive me, but I will not suffocate and choke on the common life. I will leave this world with more than simply having visited it. I will breathe. My heart will beat, maybe even flutter. I will be free, bold, and careless.

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